Our Perfect Parent

I've been thinking a lot lately about the example of parenting from our Heavenly Father and the Savior. They are perfect, after all, so there isn't anyone better than them to look to. I have a lot of thoughts on the subject, and hopefully I can relate them in a coherent manner.

I've been reading the book "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Foster W. Cline and Jim Fay, and I really like it. The reason I like it so much is because the things they teach go hand in hand with how we are parented. The book is all about allowing our children to choose and lovingly allowing them to experience the consequences, whether good or bad. That is exactly what our Heavenly Father does with us. He gave us the gift of agency, which gives us the opportunity to learn and grow from the choices we make. Otherwise, there would be no point to this life. Likewise, if we make all our children's choices for them, they will never gain the knowledge they need to not only survive in this world but also to receive eternal life in the next.

The more I ponder the example of parenting and love set by our Heavenly Father and the Savior, the more I am filled with gratitude. In Elder Dallin H. Oaks' talk last GC, he said, "Think how it must have grieved our Heavenly Father to send His Son to endure incomprehensible suffering for our sins. That is the greatest evidence of His love for each of us!" And we all know the scripture in John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

To say being a parent is hard is an understatement. And I don't know about you, but allowing my son to make poor choices is super hard! It hurts my heart and sometimes makes me angry, but I know I have to let him go through the experiences because they will make him better. I just don't know how the Lord does it. Well, I do- because he's perfect. But being perfect doesn't make Him free from the pain and hurt that comes from seeing a child suffer because of their poor choices. Yet, He knows that it is the only way we can return to Him. It all goes back to love.

Tonight I was reading this month's Ensign and thinking again about Heavenly Father's example of parenting, and I was filled with immense love. I felt strengthened and guided by it, and it allowed me to put what I've been learning into action. You see, there was a little boy upstairs who was very sad. He had thrown a nasty tantrum, so he got sent straight to bed. As I listened to his cries, I wondered what the Lord would do. What does he do with me when I make mistakes? Does he leave me utterly alone? Yes, for a while, but he comes back when I am repentant and want Him back. Does he lecture me? No, but he chastens me, and "whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth." There's a difference in lecturing and chastening, and that difference is love.

So, guided by the Spirit, I decided to go upstairs. I knew Noah felt sorry for what he'd done, so it was time to relieve him of his sorrow and show him some love. I gave him a big hug, and soothed his tears by singing his favorite song, "I Am A Child of God". I told him that sometimes I make mistakes too, so I know how it feels. I also told him that he was a good boy, and that tomorrow he could try again at making better choices. I also felt prompted to ask him what Jesus wants us to do when we make mistakes and are sorry for them: try again. Everything will be okay because we can try again.

After that, his tears were all gone, and he rolled over and went to sleep. As I went back downstairs, my heart was filled with love. I really felt like I had handled things the way the Lord would have. Unfortunately, it's not always easy to react in such a loving way, especially for me. I can be pretty...um...let's say boisterous sometimes. And when I'm like that, I'm not exactly feeling a whole lot of love.

You know what the key is to feeling that love? How about some Seminary Answers? You said it- pray and read your scriptures! It's so easy and yet so hard, but I am constantly amazed at the spiritual strength I feel when I fill my spiritual reservoir. If I didn't have the gospel, I think motherhood would literally have me in an insane asylum. Not kidding. I just could not do it alone. So why is that I still try to? I suppose that's one of life's never ending lessons.

To end my smattering of thoughts, I just want to say that as hard as mothering can be, if we follow the example of our Perfect Parent, we will be okay.

P.S.- Isn't it funny how when you have been pondering something a lot, you find and hear things about it all of a sudden? This month's Ensign has an article "What Mother's Can Learn from the Savior." It's a good one. Here's a reassuring quote from it by Elder Faust:

"If you have done your best, which you usually do, your humble offering, whatever it may be, will be acceptable and pleasing to the Lord."

Here's another good one from President Packer:

"If your are helpless, he is not. If you are lost, he is not. If you don't know what to do next, he knows. It would take a miracle, you say? Well, if it takes a miracle, why not?"

P.S. 2- If you haven't read "Christlike Parenting" by Glenn I. Latham, you need to. It's a good one. The Book of Mormon isn't bad, either.

Puzzle Activity for FHE Lesson

This week for FHE I used Lesson #25 "I Belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints" in the Behold Your Little Ones Manual. I followed the lesson as outlined, but I did add my own little twist that I thought I'd share.

For an activity, I used the coloring picture they provide. I colored it myself beforehand and cut the picture out into four puzzle pieces: "I Belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints" quote, Jesus, Joseph Smith with quote, and scriptures with quote. Then, on the back of each puzzle piece I wrote down a song to go along with it:

"I Belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints"

"I Am a Child of God"

"We Thank Thee O God for a Prophet"

"Search, Ponder, and Pray."

Before laying down each piece, we sang the song that went with it. I think Noah really liked this activity. It turned out to be a fun, simple addition to this lesson that helped drive home the meaning of it.

Just thought I'd share it.

easy magnet board job charts

I made this for my son a little while ago, and it works rather well. I have it hanging in the hallway just outside his bedroom, so it's the first thing he sees whenever he leaves his room. He has done a descent job at keeping up on his jobs by himself. I do have to remind him now and then, but having this visual has really helped him. The one chore he misses most days is picking up the downstairs family room. But he is getting better at that.


I bought the magnet board at Roberts Craft and found paper to mod podge around the frame. Then I made magnets from glass marbles/stones and coordinating paper. I bought the magnets is the craft department at Walmart. You simply trace the magnet onto the paper, cut it out and glue it to the magnet, then you glue the marble on top of that. They do take a couple of hours to dry, and you want to use a really good clear craft glue. For the different jobs he has listed on the side, I used paper mod podged onto chip board circles and glued them onto magnets. For the lines, I just used a sharpie and a ruler. Just figure out how many columns and rows you need and divide that by the length and width of the board you choose to use.

The little black dots mark which days he needs to do a specific job. Some are daily, others only one a week. He is responsible to keep up with the jobs and marking what he has done.

I have liked his job chart so much that I have already made one for my little girl. Her one and only job right now is to fall asleep without all the drama she goes through every night.

She watches her brother put magnets on his board and knows that it is a good thing. I just hope that it will mean something to her soon. Wayne and I could use the sleep!

Trickster

I tricked my kids into eating something green and good for them. Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

I've been making this extremely healthy smoothie for my husband and me that calls for, among other things, spinach. You can't taste the spinach or see it because of the overbearing blueberries in the shake, but you get all the healthy benefits.

I decided to throw some into my kids' smoothie, and what do ya know? They couldn't tell! Clara wasn't drinking hers as well as Noah, so I decided to make them into popsicles, and...we were two for two!

Here's how I made them (the measurements are really up to you):

handful of blueberries

handful of strawberries

half a banana

half a thing of yoplait strawberry yogurt

a little bit of milk

a little bit of grape juice

a big handful of spinach

Make sure you blend it up without your kids noticing the scary green things you put in it. My kids would not be eating it if they knew what was in it. You can also do whatever fruit you want, just make sure you put in blueberries or blackberries- something dark that will cover up the green color.

I got my popsicle makers at some kitchen store. I'm sure you can find them at Bed, Bath,and Beyond.

I guess Jerry Seinfeld's wife wrote a book about deceiving your kids by sneaking in healthy stuff in your kids' food. I've never read it, but I've heard she's got some good ideas. It's called

Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food
by Jessica Seinfeld

Have fun tricking your kids to eat healthy!

The Talk

Sometimes when I put Noah to bed I like to lay down next to him and just chat for a minute. It's actually pretty special. I like to think we're building a bond that will help us through the difficult teenage years. Hopefully, even when he's fifteen and embarrassed by me, we'll still be able chit chat about nothing and talk about something. As soon as Clara's out of her crib, we'll be able to have these talks too and build our own special bond.

You never know what a five year old is going to say, which is what makes talking to them so much fun. You're always in for a laugh. Tonight, of course, our conversation turned to baby brother. No, I'm not pregnant, but Noah for months has been talking about how "soon" he's going to have a baby brother. Tonight it went further than that. He said he wanted two brothers and two sisters, and my eyes got real big.

"You want me to have 4 babies in my tummy?" I asked.

"No, six," he corrected.

"Six? Six babies in my tummy?" I hear stories of young kids saying things to their parents about future children that they end up being spot on about. That worries me a little when he talks like this.

Then we started talking about twins and how his Grandma (my Mom) is a twin, and the baby talk continued some more after that, until we came to the question all parents hope to avoid for as long as possible.

Noah talked about how babies come down from heaven and into their Mommy's tummy, but then he got confused. "How do the babies get into Mommy's tummy?" he asked.

I gave him the easy, safe answer. "When a Mommy and a Daddy love each other very much, they make a baby."

I thought that was a good answer myself. But did it satisfy this thoughtful five year old? No.

"But how do they make a baby?"

I thought maybe he didn't hear me the first time, you know kids are. So, I gave him my first answer again, adding a little inflection to my voice, kind of like when people always yell when speaking to people of a different language. Surely that helps them understand better, right?

It didn't with Noah. "But..." sounding more confused and determined to understand, "how do they make a baby?"

At this point I just stared at him, totally without a clue of how to respond. Then I started to laugh at the awkwardness and the shock that I'm already facing this issue. Luckily, Noah is easily distracted by laughter. We both lied there laughing, and I was grateful for the convenient way the topic was pushed under the rug. Beneath my giggles, I told Noah we'd talk about it more when he was older.

Can you believe he's already asking this? He's too darn smart, seeing past my veiled and sprinkled with hearts answer. His father must be consulted on this, and I'm more than half tempted to turn it all over to him. I definitely think he's too young to know everything, but he's obviously not convinced a Mom and Dad fall in love and POOF a baby appears inside Mom. Sheesh!

What do I say if and when it comes up again?

Solving the Winter Time, Cheapskate Blues

Here's some more honesty. I'm not really a cheapskate, but I'd like to be one. Frankly, I'm lousy with the whole money managing thing, but unfortunately, it's largely my responsibility. Since I don't want our family in financial ruin thanks to me, I'm determined to figure things out and overcome my weaknesses. To do this, I came up with a list of cheap/free activities to do with my kids. These winter months can be unbearable, especially when the need to be cheap binds you to your home. But there must be some things you can do outside the home during winter time that don't cost a million dollars? Well, my brainstorming told me there are. Plus, it's so easy to forget the simple but fun things to do at home to brake the monotony, and my brainstorming reminded me of those as well. Here's what I came up with:

1. Library (my goal is to keep this free by not getting any more late fees!)
2. Make something using things already in the house
3. Explore the house, finding lost things; look for specific things, like the sounds different objects make when tapped with a stick, etc.
4. Go to the FREE zoo (the pet store)
5. Dance
6. Sledding (we're so lucky to live right next to an awesome sledding hill!)
7. Make a fun snack or treat
8. Play games
9. Have a friend/cousin over
10. Visit Grandma/cousins
11. Have a picnic in the living room
12. Build a fort
13. Have a read-a-thon
14. Write letters to people
15. Visit Dad at work
16. Write your own book by taking pictures of things in the house and making a story out of it
17. Write an "All By Myself" book using your kids as the main characters (i.e. "I can brush my teeth...I can make my bed...etc.)

What are some things you could add to this list? Where else could you go to get out of the house in the winter time without spending a ton of money, hopefully spending none? What else did my itty-bitty brain fail to come up with?

The Invisible Woman.

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